You MUST check the schedule page for upcoming show dates and times (if you want to; don't feel pressured).
Mysterious rumours are circulating that Move Like Seamus may be recording (still only rumours at this point; lots of technical difficulties and scheduling conflicts); this would all be part of some nefarious plan to have a hectic 2011 schedule, and then to try and take over the world (which is the same thing we do every night).
Our rockin' cellist, Kristen Turner, will be heading off to archeological digs in some far-off land called, "Arizona." She swears that people actually live there ... and enjoy it. Her last gigs -- for the moment -- with the band should be sometime in July (maybe as late as August), so get out and see her while you can.
geoff, mark, kristen, drew
Geoff Godfrey: vocal and guitar.
Mark Lortz: vocal and drums.
Kristen Turner: vocal and cello.
Drew Vervan: vocal, violin, and guitar.
And now, a few words about the band ...
Geoff Godfrey, also known as the "mighty yerfdog," is actually a little known "white" ninja (that means he wears a white outfit when doing the ninja thing). This is sort of like being a white wizard, I think, in that you have to have died in combat, and then come back to life, somehow. We don't really understand how it works; there may have to be magic involved, and maybe a sword, and the only other reference we have for this involves an epic battle inside a mountain with some creature that may have been a balrog. The result of Geoff's white ninja skills is that his fingers are madly nimble and he tears the metaphorical "it" to shreds on the guitar. He also likes Peruvian hats, and performing marriage ceremonies in the forest (this is all part of the white ninja thing, but he is actually sanctioned in the state of Maryland to perform these services, and maybe others for select clients).
Mark Lortz, is a furious drummer. He's exactly like animal from the muppets - without the hair. Nasa has worked closely with Mark to develop special drumheads that can withstand the force of his pounding. They're working on a patent. The drumheads are made of pure unobtanium - a rare and extrememly expensive substance, made from carefully crafted ores harvested from meteors. You can often find Mark in the fields, late at night, in Carroll County, watching the skies for falling rocks, then collecting them for drumhead raw materials. He says he's simply attending local high school american style football games, but we know the truth (which is out there).
Kristen Turner continues to endure self-imposed exile from her native Canada. But she'll soon be returning to the province known as "arizona." This is a little known section of Canada, which was seized by hostile means from the native people there, who referred to themselves as, "teeparteons." This small and insignificant band of natives, though ridiculously well armed, were overcome by Canadian forces brandishing weapons of mass destruction, such as national healthcare and national elections campaigns that only last two months. Against such mighty weaponry, the teeparteons fell in short order, although their leaders fled to another far-off land called Utah. The teeparteons left behind crude dwellings that, despite being located in a hot arid climate, used air conditioning contraptions to try and duplicate typical native Canadian conditions. Kristen, in her archeological studies, will seek out other rumoured remnants of the diminishing culture, including such important cultural teeparteon inventions, like ...
Drew Vervan has his own, completely fabricated biography elsewhere on this website; however, the truth is he's actually Canadian. He's one of many entertainers, sent from the far north, to take over America while spreading messages of peace, love, green-living, snow-loving, national healthcare, national elections campaigns that only last two months, and Smithwick's. Some people think, given his clearly obsessive devotion to Smithwick's, that he receives some sort of kick-back from the Irish company -- This is, of course, true. However, he actually hates all types of beer and never touches the stuff. You'll never see Drew drinking a beer at a gig, having a beer around the house, nor drinking beer while out with friends. Rumours to the effect the he actually "brews" beer are completely untrue, and he would be bored senseless by any talk of beer or the so-called "science" behind the brewing of beer (see "white ninja"). Drew is also devoted to music cables, of which there are at least five types: electric, speaker, microphone, patch, and instrument. Those who use these cables must take great care, particularly when coiling them at the end of the night. When arranged in the proper ring-like configuration, music cables will form a powerful transmitter, and one configuration in particular can bind all others, which then allows Kristen to communicate, through musical code, to her Canadian headquarters, and through which pass harmonious sounds known to be enjoyed by many, particularly teeparteons, white ninjas, and balrogs.